Thinking About the Future Sucks

A couple months ago, when I had the urge to become a world-renowned writer, I was told by someone that works near my house to write a blog and get input from the people reading it. I had one complication, though. What was I getting input for? What was I going to write about?

And then it hit me. I’ll write about my pathetic life that no one cares about! How interesting would that be? I’m sure people would love to hear about how many mistakes I make on a daily basis, right?

There’s a part of me that thinks writing about my life to a bunch of strangers is ridiculous. Another part thinks it’s good for me to talk about how great, or crappy, my life is going. I mean, maybe typing things out and telling the world about them will help me figure things out. I still have no idea what to do after I graduate in May.

My mom, including everyone else on this damn planet, keeps asking me what I want to be and where I want to go for college. All I say is, “I don’t know. I’ll figure it out.” She rolls her eyes in return and keeps pushing me to make a decision. It’s annoying. I only have this coming up summer to figure out my future. No big deal, right? Everyone else has their future picked out, so it kind of sucks to be the only one in my friend group to not know anything. I didn’t even apply for any colleges. Honest.

I have one friend, the only one I’m closest to in this shitty town, is moving an hour away to a university and already knows what she wants to be. She’s smart, has fifty million scholarships, and can drive. I’m smart (only about film and crime related things), but I can’t drive. I don’t have my license or a car. I’m 18 and still need to be driven by my mom. Can you say “Loser!”? I can.

My school counselors try to figure out what I should do and where to go. I’d hate to tell them that they’re wasting their time. They get paid shit money just to guide us lost students. I believe they should at least be paid more, but half of them suck at their job. I go every few weeks, which they hate, but I have class. I tell them I’m doing fine, but that’s not completely true. They just want to see me succeed, which isn’t really working since I have a bad case of senioritis. I’m failing a class and have two very long papers to write. Guess what I haven’t done yet? Those papers. Ha!

I promise you guys that a majority of my posts won’t be about school. Just wait until summer. That’s when I’ll be visiting my grandparents and hopefully getting my license. Until then, I’m screwed and have to take the bus to school. Honestly, thinking about the future sucks.

I should probably go now, though. Talk to you guys tomorrow.