Hello, New Life…

Oh, wow. I haven’t updated in forever. I have reasons, but I don’t think it’s really relevant right now.

Currently, I’m stuck at a local library that closes in two hours. That’s why I’m typing this up… so please excuse any mistakes or whatever. I’m kind of over everything right now, and couldn’t care less about grammar/spelling mistakes. I don’t think there will be any, though, since I’m pretty good with that shit.

Anyway, hey.

I have no idea where I left off, but this is a new chapter in my life. I’ve officially been kicked out of my house! That’s right. Today has been so shitty, and I have nowhere to go. I mean, I have stores, which I might hang out in for a bit until I find something better to do, but I don’t know yet. You guys might be thinking, “Jess, go call your dad and ask to stay with him.” Yeah, well, I would, but I don’t want to. Not because our relationship is terrible, which it kind of is, but because I don’t want anything from anyone. Besides, I don’t even talk to him that much. I have no one, technically, and I haven’t for a while.

I guess you’d have to be in my situation to understand my thinking. I’m all over the place right now, ha!

My mother told me to never come back, so that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to go out and have fun and not think twice about it. I’m going to be my own person, without being told how useless I am. Maybe I’ll disappear forever and throw away my phone. Maybe I’ll drive to New York. Maybe I’ll drive to a small town. The possibilities are endless.

Honestly, I don’t care (or know) what happens now.

I promise to keep you all updated. I know I say that a lot, but I don’t want you guys thinking I’m dead or something stupid like that.

So, until next time…

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The Unknown

I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m stuck between wanting to do everything and wanting to do nothing. I have no support system, but what else is new? I might start running just to clear my mind. I don’t think I’m confident enough to go to the gym.

I know I haven’t posted in a while, which was a good thing up until this week. I was having a good time, but now I fell back to my old self. I’m not happy. I don’t think I was ever really happy, honestly. I’m sick right now, too, which doesn’t make the situation any better.

Also, I’m planning on looking for an apartment away from my mom. She still insults me. Why would I want to live with someone that insults me 24/7? I have no idea. I have no money, no license (still!), and no car. I’m a pathetic loser that has no life.

Talk soon…