I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m stuck between wanting to do everything and wanting to do nothing. I have no support system, but what else is new? I might start running just to clear my mind. I don’t think I’m confident enough to go to the gym.
I know I haven’t posted in a while, which was a good thing up until this week. I was having a good time, but now I fell back to my old self. I’m not happy. I don’t think I was ever really happy, honestly. I’m sick right now, too, which doesn’t make the situation any better.
Also, I’m planning on looking for an apartment away from my mom. She still insults me. Why would I want to live with someone that insults me 24/7? I have no idea. I have no money, no license (still!), and no car. I’m a pathetic loser that has no life.
I’ve been thinking a lot. I’ve been asking myself whether or not I would look good wearing 90’s clothing rather than today’s fashion trends; when I’ll be getting my license; if I’ll pass my written and driving test the first time; and what I’m going to be doing for college.
I might not be able to go to college full-time this upcoming year. That’s what has me mostly bummed. I wish I applied for some scholarships, honestly.
Also, I almost died twice this week by a semi and a mail truck. I pulled in front of the semi, and it blasted its horn. There was heavy traffic. The mail truck’s tire popped right in front of me, so the loud bang was terrifying for about two seconds.
I’m currently surrounded by attractive guys. I wouldn’t do anything with them for certain reasons, but it’s a good thing I’m legal. They’re idiotic assholes, though. It’s a win-lose situation if you think about their looks versus their personality and intelligence.
There’s still no internet, which is why I’m at the library. I’ve been watching Beverly Hills, 90210 on Hulu, and my type is literally Brandon Walsh. I think I’m in love with him, and I’m only on episode four.
Until next time…
Arrived at my location.
Signed up for Hulu.
Need sleep. Need movie-riddled dreams.
I’m happy. Goodnight.